serviceindustrynight.net

Yo, folks. I have to apologize, I’ve kind of fallen off the blog bandwagon—at least here anyway—lately, but, now that Freak (I swear to you, he does speak english) has joined the world of people who own fucking computers, hopefully we can resume to providing all you good folks with the kind of trash and filth and occasional humor that you can’t get on the the vast cultural wasteland that is television.

So, anyway. Here’s the story so far: dude bets his girlfriend he can create a website that can get 2,000,000 hits. She tells him he’s full of shit. Not only is he full of shit, he’s so totally stinking full of shit that in the outrageously unlikely event that he should ever get 2,000,000 hits she will do a threeway with him and another girl.

She even put it in writing.

Timeline goes kind of like this:

3/14/06 horny dude creates lame ass website with picture of his reasonably cute girlfriend.
3/28/06 1000 hits! Woohoo!
4/5/06 10,000 hits!

And then FARK comes along…

Link to Help Win This Bet.com. You gotta go see the counter.

How come when you pick your nose in front of your girlfriend, they can’t look away? They ask you to stop, and you don’t, cause, fuck that shit. It’s YOUR fuckin’ nose, and You’ll pick it when You want to, godammit! You say, “Dont look if it bothers you.” But now they CAN’T avert their gaze, no matter what. Then they’ll tell you you should go get a tissue. A tissue! As if that would work. Boogers must be dug at and pried free, and often manuevered out with great delicasy. The only way that tissue would help is if it had a nail on it! So, you dismiss the suggestion and keep at your task. But still they stare. Now YOU feel self concious. Do you stop? Hell no. Now you dig with even more fervor, even if there’s nothing left to pick. Just out of spite. So now, she’s disgusted, and you have a bloody nose. She now delves into the “I TOLD YOU SO” lecture, and you, despite being, pardon the pun, caught red-handed, try to NOW explain that the picking did NOT cause the bloody nose, but that the air in the house is especially arid of late, and your poor mucus membranes are suffering verily. ( many men will fall back on the old stand-by ‘Im not picking, I was itching…’, but don’t be lured. That excuse has been officially debunked and is about as believable a defense as ‘if the glove doesn’t fit…’, though with less promising results.) So you lie. Even YOU are having a hard time figuring out WHY you’re lying, but it’s no use. The bullshit pours ever faster from your gob. Next you start concocting wild and fraudulent examples of how this affliction has been credited with over 100 deaths in the Nevada/Arizona areas, and shouldn’t we look into getting a humidifyer? And the next day you find yourself standing in line at walmart with this stupid, worthlesss gizmo under your arm that you are about to pay way too much for, and you ask yourself why? Why? WHY? Because. It’s YOUR fuckin’ nose and You’ll pick it when You want, godammit!

FrEak

PS

My cat’s breath smells like cat food.

Um, Hello?……Anyone? Memeber me? Freak? The talent and very lifeblood of the show you used to like? A hhhh fuck it. I am a new man people. Reborn might be a bit much, but it’s not far from the truth. I have, this very day, become a full-fledged bonafide owner of my very own com-PUTER! That’s right bitches, no more waiting 16 months at a time or relying on that sad sack wood to keep you abreast of my activities. That’s right. IM BACK!

So, what’s a cool pimpdaddy muthafucka like me been doin with his self of late, you ask? Welllllll, lemme enlighten you. NOT A GODDAMM THING. That’s right, nothin. Nothing, that is, except the ususal: Boning my beautiful big-breasted girlfriend, going to my cakewalk job, loading my body with all the drugs and alcohol it will hold, and of course, masturbating furiously whenever BBG leaves my cock alone long enough for the blood to escape it. Yeah, life’s been pretty rough. The grind. So, just a few things……

1. BASEBALL! Thank the sweet fucking lord. My true love has returned to me. The Cubbies are back in action. FINALLY! Damn the offseason is long. The Northsiders are back and they look good! Go Cubs. Nuff said. If you don’t like baseball, you are just a stupidhead.

2. LOST! Wood is a bitch. Wood made me take home season one of Lost, and I cant seem to concentrate on anything else in my life. I scoffed at the show at it’s inception. AND, I’m a huge Alias fan. Strange? Yeah, i couldn’t figure it out either. But then I watched. And I watched. And I’m still watching. I’ll just say this: The 2 part pilot for Lost might just be the most riveting 90 minutes of television I have ever seen. The only upside to having not followed the show on tv and waiting to watch it on dvd is the uninterrupted stream I am able to feed my brain. No waiting til next week. The show is phenominal. Thank you Mr Abrams.

3. DANE COOK! The nigga has blown up. He’s been doing stand-up since 93, and has only just recently hit the fan like shit in the movie Airplane! I took BBG to see him at the Mandaly Bay this past saturday and he killed. The man is the new reason to have bad shit happen to you so’s you can go put on his cd and feel better( if you don’t mind that warmth. From pissing your pants. From laughing. stupid.). He is even slated to appear in his very first starring role in a major motion picture, opposite Jessica Simpson and that dude dax from Punk’d. Called Employee of the month. It was filmed in a Costco, and it looks hilarious. Like Nick Cannon. He is also filming an HBO special april 15th, to air Junee 11th. Keep your eyes peeled.

4. There is no 4.

So, there’s a brief glimpse of what’s been on my mind for the last however long, and you know what? Im sick of typing. Im going home to get faded and watch Lost………………….

PS

I have no spellcheck, and I’ve been drinking.

PPS

Stay tuned. With this amazing new developement of me having a computer, there WILL BE new episodes of SIN forthcoming!!!!!!!